Perspective: Forever Guest

We will share different perspectives of the families and individuals we support. Some will not resonate with you, but some might. Our purpose is to showcase the diversity within our community, spread awareness and empathy for varying perspectives, and provide a starting place for hard conversations. Some of this inspiration comes from Ido in Autismland, a book we highly recommend and have used to start conversations.

The first perspectives post is co-written by Sarah, age 26, and based on a conversation that included this quote:

"I am a young adult that is the forever guest. I attend milestone events fully aware that it will never be my turn. I do not get my own adult transition party. Therefore, I am still a child, a dependent, a burden."

When we asked Sarah about what events she felt she could only be a guest at, she included graduations, weddings, anniversaries, housewarmings, and baby showers. This list will be different depending on culture and age, but it made us think about the impact this might have on individuals.

"It is different from people who have the choice to not do those things. We do not have the option to decline those rites of passage. The world pretends we are not aging and developing or just fails to care. It is demoralizing and I feel simultaneously invisible and burdensome. How do I stay motivated while facing such a future?"

Most will answer this question differently, but it is important to consider as individuals, as a family, and as a team. How do you track and celebrate progress even when it differs from peers or the norm? We often hear about weaknesses and goals, but strengths and successes are downplayed as expectations.

"The stress to meet societal timelines causes additional barriers to actual progress."

Leave a comment to share your thoughts and share the post to gather a wider perspective.